Tuesday, December 18, 2012

I Had A Christmas Craftastrophe

If you've spent any time on my blog, you know that I make things and they usually turn out pretty well.  Most recently, I've made these and these and even this and I'm pretty sure they all came out nicely.  As expected, even.

So, when I saw this post about the cutest bath fizzies and how easy they are to make, I was sure that I would make them and they would be the best thing since peppermint bark.  I was going to make a million of them and give them as last minute gifts to everyone I knew:  the mailman, the bank tellers, the newspaper boy, random strangers passing by, the dog walkers, kids waiting for the bus.

So, I assembled the ingredients: 

cornstarch- in my cabinet
baking soda- in my cabinet
epsom salts- in my bathroom thanks to this
essential lavender oil- in my shower
food coloring- got it
water- no problem
citric acid- I'll just run out and get some

When I got to 'citric acid' I should have hung it up right there.  I forgot that when I first started canning applesauce, I had tried to find citric acid because I thought it was a vital component and would keep things from spoiling.  Turns out, it just keeps the apples from turning brown.  Who cares if your applesauce is light brown or dark brown?  So, I gave up and forgot about it.

I heard rumors that Whole Foods has citric acid but nowhere else really does.  We don't have Whole Foods around here, so I figured good old Stop and Shop would have it.

I might have been asking for plutonium, they were such imbeciles.

I had to take matters into my own hands and went to Shaws.  I finally found citric acid in the canning aisle, produced by Ball, the company that makes all things canning.  It had citric acid, dextrose and silicone dioxide.  What harm can those other things do, right?  It has citric acid and it's what I need.




Well, in what can only be pure irony, my cute little green Christmas trees turned BROWN.  Remember how citric acid is used to keep apples from turning brown?  Well, my bath fizzies which were white and dyed green, nary a brown spec in sight, turned brown.

And they were a friggin mess and full of holes.



They are supposed to be moist enough to pack into the little molds, but not soupy.  Well, the trees were a little soupy because I was in a hurry and added too much water.  Just as practically functional had done with her first attempt, I added too much water and had a growing mass of sludge.  Hers dried out eventually, so not to be deterred, I put mine on our radiators and let them dry.  And they still looked like that after 4 days. 

And the worst part?  They wouldn't fizz.  They just sank in the water and broke apart.

So, I tried it again.  I was going to make these cute little gingerbread men.  I was going to make a million, give them to everyone I did and didn't know.

It was going to be legendary.


So, I started again and took much more time.  I sprayed on the water, just like she said.  Over and over I sprayed.  I had what was a slightly packable consistency.  I packed it into the mold.  And I had some left over, so I made little balls.

This was going much better.  No rising bread dough-like behavior.  Very little expansion.

And then the holes started. 

And after several days of drying, I ended up with another batch of unfizzable crap that looked like this.


So, into the trash everything went.  I'm done with the fizzies.  It's back to peppermint bark for me this year. 

I had such high hopes.

I'm pretty sure the silicon dioxide and dextrose in the citric acid blend was the problem.  I'm sure someone can chime in and tell us the scientific reason this didn't work.

We are getting a Whole Foods here this summer, so maybe I'll give it another whirl for next Christmas, when I can just buy citric acid without all of the extras.

And my favorite part?  When k-ster kept asking "wait, are these food?" and I'd say they are bath fizzies and because he didn't know what a bath fizzy is, he ignored me and asked later on "are these food?"   

I'm not afraid to share this disaster of a craftastrophe here:
http://www.skiptomylou.org/2012/12/18/made-by-you-monday-132/
http://cherishedhandmadetreasures.blogspot.com/
http://www.glitterglueandpaint.com/throwback-thursday-2/
and here and   here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here!


7 comments:

  1. Agh, I'm sorry they didn't ever work out for you! I think it has to be the extra ingredients in the citric acid, like you said. I definitely ruined my first batch, but the second time I just got them barely wet (like, I wasn't even sure I could get them to pack into the mold properly) and they turned out ok. I hope if a Whole Foods shows up in your neighborhood that you can get it to work for you!

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  2. Good on you for giving it a go! I have been meaning to get around to making some Christmas gifts and failed. Thanks for sharing at melting moments linky :)

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  3. Hi Lovely, I'm your new follower from Blog Hop.
    Love your awesome blog. Feel free to check out & follow my blog @ www.revampspunkyrena.com
    xoxo
    Rena

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  4. Oh no! YOu did more than I did though and attempted it!! It is a very valiant effort!!!

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  5. I'm so sorry. I hate it when things go wrong. Thanks so much for sharing at Wednesday's Adorned From Above Blog Hop. Today’s party is live. Here is the link.
    http://www.adornedfromabove.com/2013/01/week-in-review-and-wednesdays-adorned.html
    Debi and Charly @ Adorned From Above

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  6. Craftastrophies are the worst...especially after you invest so much time and effort into them. Hope the Peppermint Bark turned out well :)

    I found you over at The Clever Chick's blog hop and hope you have a great week!

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  7. I had to laugh. I've had so many baking fails at the holidays. If I had tried to make a pumpkin roll one more time I would have tossed everything threw a window. Thanks for sharing at Throwback Thursday.

    xoxo
    Denyse

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